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With Oxygen on Their Back

For those on oxygen who have a story to tell. Who have kept fighting, never given up, and are stronger then they ever thought possible.

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Exhaustion. An exhaustion that buries deep into your bones and doesn’t let go. No amount of caffeine or sleep can fix it. You sleep 12 hours and still weighted down with tiredness. This has been my life recently. Exhaustion. Sleep. Pretend to be human. Repeat. Having to cancel major plans, which I rarely do. Listening to music as dance session is now a listening session. Plans that would bring me such excitement is now just another day. Thinking. Breathing. Functioning is so tiring. Anything else takes so much effort. I’m trying. I really am. All I can is push through each day and do my best to smile and fake ok. Some days are better then others but when your chronically ill body runs on spoons, once you’re out, no amount of energy drinks will fix it. And as your exhaustion piles up, being overwhelmingly exhausted is exhausting. My dear body, I’m sorry you are struggling but I promise I’m fighting just as hard you are. Just keep fighting. #exhausted #exhaustion #chronicillness #keeponfighting #fighter #strong #justbreathe #spoonie #outofspoons #nevergiveup

There are days where this fight tries to get the best of you. Where just functioning is exhausting. And trying to remember all your symptoms for the doctor and be polite and get things done are draining. Today’s doctor visit was good, yet we still have questions. We resolved some things and playing around with others. The feeding tube is fortunately/unfortunately on the back burner. Not sure where I stand with it but just wish I knew if it would help or not. I’m sick of feeling terrible after I eat and just want answers/relief. But I feel weirdly at peace in my heart. I know God has this all under control. And while today brought solutions but no real answers, I’m going to keep fighting. I’m going to rest my beyond exhausted body and recover. And pray I wake with renewed strength. This fight is hard. This fight is exhausting. But we are fighters and nothing will stand in our way of winning life one battle at a time. #exhausted #doctor #chronicillness #fighter #stomachissues #longday #monday #nevergiveup #alwayskeepfighting #smile #strong

For days when my body is exhausted. My organs are tired. And every movement is slow going, I’m grateful to have to still have these moments. Moments that make smile and breathe a little easier. To have Zanna continue to pump air in my lungs. To have her fight for me even when I feel too tired to keep going. And to have my dogs, who constantly want me to feel overwhelmingly loved. Today may have been be simple and restful but it was good. And tomorrow I’ll find strength to fight another day. Hope your Sunday was filled naps and smiles. And know, even if all you did was breathe today, you still fought a good fight. 💪🏻 #fighton #breathe #strong #chronicillness #oxygen #sunday #sundayfunday #nap #alwayskeepfighting #dogsofinstagram

Ever since I was a child I loved to think about what people were doing at that exact moment at me. It didn’t matter if they were a famous person, a family member, or someone on the other side of the world. I just found it fascinating to think about what they were seeing, saying, thinking. Where they sad, happy, nervous? Were they outside working or inside relaxing? Were their hands helping cook a meal while their feet swayed with music? Unless you are right in the moment with that person, you will never know. Just like we can never fully understand each other’s feelings. We can say we do but we never truly can. We all grieve differently. Have pain differently. Laugh differently. And experience life through our eyes only. We look at people and say they seem happy in a photo but we never know what was going on before it was taken. Just like we can never truly understand someone else’s pain or happiness. But the beauty is, we each share experiences. We may not be able to see life or feel life the way they do but we say we understand because we try. We try to offer every helpful hint or love to someone. Because we fight this crazy life together. We share the beauty and the heartbreak. And if we just saw life through one person’s eyes, we would miss out on what that person offered the world. So while I can’t see you and you can’t see me. We are still connected in this life through stories and experiences. So share your story. Write your thoughts. Show us your world. You never know. Maybe one day you will cross paths with someone who will be or was impacted by you. And the way you viewed every battle your fought. #randomthoughts #deepthoughts #youareenough #beyourself #shareyourstory #chronicillness

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Learn About How I Breathe

I Am Constantly Fighting December 1, 2017
I Am Courageous September 29, 2017
I Am Invented September 27, 2017
I Am An Overcomer September 25, 2017

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